The 11th house

As I started writing this blog I was sitting in the Qantas airport lounge waiting for my first plane trip since Covid hit over 12 months ago. 

My gorgeous girlfriend Denise Duffield-Thomas who coincidentally I was on my last plane trip with (when we went on retreat to Fiji together) invited me, and a number of other amazing business women (and biz besties), to her amazing Lorn Rose Farm near Newscastle, NSW.

8 of us converged on the farm for two nights of informal masterminding, chilling, talking, connecting, eating, drinking and relaxing. Basically all those good vibe things that females love to do when they are together. 

We discussed the Megan and Harry Interview, flying during Covid, how the last year has felt for us, sales funnels, current issues in online business, all and many, many other things.

This trip made me equal parts excited and nervous – you see I’m a Sagittarius sun and I LOVE to go anywhere away from home especially in a plane BUT I also have my moon in Cancer and can be very introverted and I am a sensitive empath. 

In other words socialising drains me and I also experience social anxiety.

So this got me thinking about friendship, community, and astrology and what the 11th house in your chart can tell you about how you can best fill up your cup in this area of your life!

My moon is in the 11th house that rules (amongst other things) groups, community and friendships and I also have my North Node here so connecting with friends and community (especially feminine community) is extremely important to how I nurture myself and live my purpose.


My moon is also square my Pluto in the first house of my identity and my North Node is in opposition my Mercury – cue deep dark thoughts and social anxiety, as well as talking TOO much when I am anxious in these situations and then reliving everything I did say and over-analysing it to death.

Groups, community and friendships have never been easy for me. 

Now, let’s add another layer. 

My moon is sextile my Chiron (or core wound and path to healing) and amongst other things this tells me that pushing myself to not close off myself and be the hermit that I could VERY easily be is ultimately healing for me.

So you might be starting to get a sense of my mixed feelings leading into this weekend.

There were moments where I felt myself talking too much, or berating myself in my head, feeling like I wasn’t really part of the group and didn’t belong.

But at the Pisces New Moon which was direct on Saturday night when we were at the peak of our time together I set the intention to create soul-level connection with these women and to show compassion and sensitivity for them and for myself.

I decided that things could be different and that by just being more open, by listening more and by being compassionate it could be a different experience for me.

Now of course I can’t give you this level of detail about your chart in this blog but I CAN give you some information about what the sign that rules your 11th house means for your relationship with friendships, groups, and community.

If you download my free guide below you can probably start to interpret the meaning of any other planets you have in your 11th house!

How to find the ruler of your 11th house

To determine which sign rules your 11th house you will need to create your natal chart (see directions below)

Once you have your chart in front of you then look for the first sign that intersects your 11th house going anti-clockwise around your chart. 

But there is actually an easier way! 

Look for the two lines under your list of planet placements in the table in the top left-hand side of your chart and you will find the specific placements by sign and degree of your AC, MC, 2nd, 3rd and 11th and 12th Houses. Look to the 11th and you’ll see an abbreviated form of the sign that rules your 11th house!

Easy peasy!

You’ll see below that my 11th house starts at 17 degrees Cancer and is therefore ruled by Cancer.

11th house basics

The 11th House is commonly referred to as the House of Community, Groups, and Friendship and is ruled by Aquarius and the planet Uranus.

In other words it is all about the collective groups that you are a part of.

This can encompass community groups, clubs, organizations, social groups (i.e. your friends), networking groups professional or business associations. Really any group that you are part of in your day to day life and interaction in your local community.

The sign that rules your 11th house can give an indication to the nature and focus of groups and friendships in your life and the way that you can best align in this area of your life.

Let me stress this won’t always feel easy as I described from my own chart above but it is most important to your soul’s evolution in this lifetime. 

Friendships, groups and community are a core part of how we can feel connected, a sense of belonging and achieve more than we could alone. 

The 11th house allows us to harness the power of the collective and the creative downloads that can be sparked through interaction with others.

The 11th house also speaks to our hopes and dreams, what we desire in this life and the goals we want to set for ourselves. 

The 11th house also gives an indication of the type of friend we are, or we have the potential to be – such as what do we do for others and what our friends love about us. 

Side Note: The 11th house also rules Philanthropy, and Step-Children and also has some links to generating money but I won’t dive into these areas in this blog.

The 11th house through the Zodiac Signs


How you are in friendship: Perhaps you are the leader inspiring your friends to greatness with a tendency to get fired up and possibly into fights or confrontations but this is ultimately because you can see the potential in your friends that they can’t see for themselves. You might be someone who has a lot of friends come and go in your life – but there is always someone new around the corner!

How your friends see you: Your friends love that you are brave, bold and inspiring! You are their Warrior friend or the person they go to when they need to be convinced to do something that scares them or they need back-up in a fight!

How you relate to Friendship & Community: You are a bnit of a maverick and need independence so you won’t be the co-dependent friend by any means. Your friends might constantly asking “what has happened toher – I haven’t seen or heard from her in aggggges!”.

How to find your tribe: You’ll do well in competitive sports teams where you can burn off your energy or in motivated business masterminds where being determined, bold and driven is not seen as being “too much”.


How you are in friendship: You are the steady, reliable and dependable friend. Now I know this doesn’t sound very exciting but honestly everyone needs this type of friend in their life! You are the person who people can rely on for a warm cup of tea or coffee, a good feed, a warm couch and a listening ear. And that, my friend, is priceless.

How your friends see you: Your friends know that you are the one who will always be there for them, you are the type of friend that you might now have seen in years but you feel like you can just take off where you left off. Yours is a friendship that lasts a lifetime. 

How you relate to Friendship & Community: You are likely to have a smaller network of long-term, close friends. You take a bit longer to warm up to people and are discerning in who you let into your world.

How to find your tribe: Look to the networks that have been in your life for the long term such as school or university friends, long-term work colleagues, extended family or other community groups. You will also bond with people over nature, art, beauty, food and wine and creativity – the simple pleasures in life.


How you are in friendship: You are curious, outgoing and like to be out experiencing life with your friends. You are the friend texting everyone saying “when are we catching up again??”. You are the connector and networker in your friendship group and are always introducing your friends to others, setting up friends on dates or holding parties to bring your various friendship worlds together.

How your friends see you: Your friends see you as witty, curious and outgoing. Your friends might not trust you with their deepest secrets because you can have a tendency to gossip or stir up trouble. Your friends may see you as a fair weather friend and therefore you are not the person they go to when the going gets tough and they need to talk about it – rather they seek you out when they want to have fun and forget their troubles.

How you relate to Friendship & Community: Friendship and community is absolutely vital to you just like air to breathe or water to drink but your friendships tend to be in quantity rather than quality. You are here for a fun time not a long time.

How to find your tribe: Get out there in life, try new things, join new groups and experience life. You need variety in this part of your life.


How you are in friendship: You are a nurturing friend who cares deeply about your friends and you are highly emotional and intuitive so you know when your friends need your support and you are sympathetic to their needs. 

You can also be over-sensitive in friendship, a bit smothering and get jealous of your friends having other friends. 

How your friends see you: Your friends see you as a sensitive, emotional and caring friend who they can come to when they need a nurturing and caring pair of ears, a big hug or a soft place to land. You bring a mother energy to your friends and may attract people who have a mother wound of some sort.

How you relate to Friendship & Community: Your friends are your family and you would do anything for them but you also take any issues or slights deeply to heart. You prefer to have fewer, intimate friendships and a sense of belonging is incredibly important to you. 

How to find your tribe: You’ll likely meet your friends through your kids (if you have them) or through your family networks. You are more introverted and will be less likely to explore outside of your known and safe networks.


How you are in friendship: You are the entertainer in your friendship group, warm, funny and creative you love to make people laugh and smile. You may choose friends based on how they can help your image or goals in life.

How your friends see you: Your friends will see you as a leader and find you quite charming and playful and love that you can make them smile, light them up and ignite their creative spark.

How you relate to Friendship & Community: You get energy from being around other people – getting recognition, support and energy from interacting with your friends and community. You do need to be careful of needing your friends to boost your ego and a never-ending cycle of external recognition that can never be filled.

How to find your tribe: You can find your tribe through extroverted groups such as local theatre, music groups, public speaking groups or other performance based hobbies.


How you are in friendship: You can tend to be a little bit critical in friendship and have high expectations of your friends which can often never be met. However, on the upside you can be an incredibly thoughtful friend remembering your friends birthdays or doing little acts of service.

How your friends see you: Your friends love how organised and planned you are and as a result they rely on you to organise events and take care of the details for them. They know that you’ll be annoyed if they flake on you or turn up late.

How you relate to Friendship & Community: You are likely to be quite discerning about who you let into your inner circle but the people you do let close will get a friend who takes care of them.

How to find your tribe: You are likely to find your people through charity or philanthropic groups where you can work together to help others. 


How you are in friendship: You are diplomatic and balanced in friendship and above all want to maintain harmonious friendships. You’ll often be the friend who seeks to mediate between others in the group if something isn’t fair or conducive to harmony but you can also be a people pleaser or fence sitter to avoid confrontation. 

How your friends see you: Your friends see you as calm, balanced and fair. They may feel like you sit on the fence so to speak and may harbour some resentment if you don’t stand up for them in the way that they expect.

How you relate to Friendship & Community: Friendship and Community is an intrinsic part of your life as important to you as food and water. You need to feel like your friendships and communities and peaceful, just and harmonious.

How to find your tribe: 

You’ll enjoy meeting people with similar sensibilities at beautiful art, music or cultural events.


How you are in friendship: You can be quite an intense friend – passionate, probing and a bit jealous or possessive. However, when you find your people you will be devoted to helping them transform soulfully, financially and creatively. You are a friend for life and will be extremely committed.

How your friends see you: Your friends are drawn to you, they don’t necessarily know you well (as you can be quite secretive) but they want to be around your magnetic presence. They know that you will be brutally honest and uncompromising with them but they know they can also come to you about the darkest and hardest parts of life.

How you relate to Friendship & Community: You are the transformer in your groups and community, activating change and pushing groups and communities where they are afraid to go. On the downside you can be manipulative or controlling over groups and communities and people may resent or be suspicious of you for that.

How to find your tribe: You are a private person so you are likely to find your tribe through exclusive or even secret groups particularly those of a spiritual/mystical, sexual or financial nature such as goddess circles, tantric retreats or exclusive business masterminds.


How you are in friendship: You are the free-spirited friend who seems to drift in and out of people’s lives. Philosophical, worldly and a whole lot blunt you don’t want to be tied down.

How your friends see you: a free-spirited bohemian who loves nothing more than a deep and meaningful conversation or philosophical debate. Your friends won’t necessarily see you as someone they can rely on but they will seek you out when they want an adventure or they are going through a spiritual awakening.

How you relate to Friendship & Community: You need to be around people who are open minded and tolerant and who are also on a quest for a greater understanding of the world and what comes after.

How to find your tribe: Seek out people with similar spiritual and philosophical beliefs by joining a faith group, attending a spiritual or yoga retreat or studying programs that connect you with people with similar philosophical and spiritual orientation to the world.


How you are in friendship: You are commanding and in-control but you are also patient and loyal (but often from a sense of obligation). 

How your friends see you: Masterful, successful and hard-working however, on the flip-side they may find you to be overbearing and demanding and a bit of a wet blanket.

How you relate to Friendship & Community: You want to be the leader within your friendship groups and community and thrive when you feel “in-control”. You have quite a paternalistic energy and may attract people with father wounds who want to be directed.

How to find your tribe: You want to be around other driven, successful and goal-oriented people who are older and who have achieved a level of success. You are likely to find your friends in the workplace or a professional context. YouYou also thrive when you are able to lead a group to achieve their goals. Look for community groups who are lacking strategy or direction and fulfil that need for them.


How you are in friendship: You can be a little detached and may come across as a bit aloof as you are an independent person who needs freedom. But you are also idealistic and friendly just not heavily emotionally invested.

How your friends see you: Your friends see you as innovative, visionary, perhaps a bit quirky or eccentric and humanitarian. Your friends are inspired by your big, bold visions for the world (or your little piece of it).

How you relate to Friendship & Community: For you community is about merging individual accomplishment with collective benefit.

How to find your tribe: You find your tribe by getting involved in causes, organisations and activities that you feel passionate about and that you feel make a difference such as a protest for a social justice issue, taking a stand on an environmental cause or attending a conference about technological advancement..


How you are in friendship: Dreamy, soulful and a little unreliable! You are a caring and compassionate friend and often play the role of counsellor to your friends. 

How your friends see you: Your friends love that you are creative, imaginative, intuitive, compassionate and kind.

How you relate to Friendship & Community: You have high ideals about how your friendships and groups should treat you and others and sometimes you will be disappointed. Friendships come with soul lessons and they will often be short and even painful but always with a greater spiritual lesson.

How to find your tribe: By joining creative groups such as an art class or spiritual pursuits such as yoga or meditation classes. They’ll also find soul-friends through water activities such as swimming or surfing. You’ll often take on a role as a spiritual guide for others.

Want more

How did this resonate for you? Do you have other planets in the 11th house and if so what further layers might they bring to this part of your life? If you would like to learn more about astrology then check out the Level 1 Astrology Certification.

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